When reading and listening to this poem, I felt and thought a couple of different things. At first, from just reading it once and skimming it over, I didn't think much of it. I just saw it as this lady trying to make a poem deeper that it need being. I just looked at it appeared to look like, and not what was underneath. I had no real interest into seeking the meaning into this poem, because on the first look around it didn't seem too great. You know how, when you see someone walking down the street and you kind of size them up and try to tell if they're cool or see if they're wearing some nice shoes? I did that with this poem. I was just sizing it up, and seeing whether it had anything cool going on it. When you see someone walking down the street, you don't know what's underneath though. And the same goes for poems. You have to actually think about it, and go under.
So I decided to read it a second time and see if I could find out more and see if I could find some connection or find some theme. That's when I realized that there was more to this poem than what just meets the eye. I saw a connection between her and Van Gough when he drew the painting and what she thought he was thinking. She created her own version and her own story behind what Van Gough was thinking when he was drawing the painting. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, she tried to sum up those words and make a poem out of it.
Then, after we discussed the poem in class and went even further than we had before, I found it even more. This poem to me, was wrapped in layers, and I had to slowly unwrap each one. I found out she committed suicide. This made my head go spinning. Suicide? And that got me to thinking that maybe this poem was about her suicide. Maybe this poem is about her trying to tell people how she was feeling, desperately reaching out for someone to understand her and help. She was talking about How she wanted to die, but she writes it like this: "This is how
I want to die"
She makes I want to die it's own separate line. Maybe this is me trying to make everything fit together, but it seemed like she wanted people to know she felt like dying.
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